Finally Dantana
by pinkfunster98
Summary: Dani and Santana love each other and it looks like they always will that is until life gets in the way - can they fight through or will one of them just give up?
1. Chapter 1

Dani and Santana had been dating for a few months and Dani was happy, really happy. She still felt horrible about agreeing to kick her girlfriend out of the band, especially since lately that was almost all the time they spent together. With Santana's job, dance lessons and now her being the understudy for Funny Girl combined with Danis work and the band they say each other once a week at best. Sure they texted all the time but it wasn't the same at all. Don't get Dani wrong she was so happy Santana was going places - she deserved it considering how talented she was (although maybe singing Rachel's song for a Funny Girl audition and getting the part wasn't the best way to go about it but more on that later...) Dani really liked Santana and could see herself falling for her if only everything wasn't coming their way! Dani wanted to initiate a date night or something where the two of them could just hang out and connect, finding out more about each other with some making out and cuddling involved obviously (that's connecting right and come on Dani's dating Santana you can't resist that body, no matter how hard you try!)

Truth be told when Santana had told Dani all about her and Rachel's fight and how one of them would just have to leave the loft, Dani was really hoping it was Santana not that she wanted Santana to lose Rachel and Kurt but if Santana had no where to live then maybe she would move in with Dani. It would've been a huge step but maybe if they took that step they would become a tighter couple. Also Dani really just wanted to wake up each morning to that face and Santana in her arms or her in Santana's it didn't really matter as long as they were together. Nothing past heavy making out had even happened between Santana and Dani but under the right conditions right come on Dani just wanted to catch that break and it looked like one might have just come her way...


	2. Chapter 2

A/N sorry for the perspective jump I just thought that it might be good to hear what Santana was thinking before I jump into the story and hopefully it gives you all some more time to review and give me some ideas of what I should do moving forward!

So time had passed since Santana had started dating her 100% Sapphic Goddess and she was loving it. Dani was perfect for Santana, she was bright, bubbly and cheerful but could totally be serious and calm Santana down and if Santana would admit it to herself she was already whipped for this girl. Finn's death had hit Santana hard, she had never really thought that death could come on so young and especially someone who didn't deserve to die! Dani had helped Santana 100% through it all not only holding her while she sobbed about Finn but also talked to her about Brittany, completely understanding what Santana was going through and showing her that no matter what Brittany did there was a girl here for her now in New York who wanted Santana and no one else.

Dani was smart, funny, sweet, adorable and so many more things, Santana didn't understand how her luck would be that a girl like that would be in New York City, like girls and more in particular her and actually want to date her exclusively. So far there had been no fights or anything like that, well except Santana might have got a bit annoyed when her girlfriend agreed to kick her out of the band (come on who kicks their girlfriend out of a band and with Santana's talent and hotness she was not an asset they could afford to lose!) Santana was majorly bummed out though because the band was the only connection time her and Dani had!

Now that Santana was doing Funny Girl along with her dance lessons at NYADA and her job at the diner she spent barely anytime with her girlfriend who she really liked, like really really liked. Santana didn't want to push Dani into anything but it was killing Santana that she didn't know everything about her Goddess and they didn't have the time to do all those cliché New York City romance things or even go on a date. Santana was also kinda hopeful that if they connect on an emotional level then maybe something physical would happen between them.

Sure Santana and Dani had made out with tongues and all that like a lot (I mean how could a couple who looked as good as they did not embrace it all) but Santana missed getting her lesbian loving on! Back at McKinley Santana always had something going on, even with Brittany there was no lack of physical contact in anyway. Santana was glad that she and Dani hadn't rushed into things but she craved the feeling of Dani and just wanted her all the time.

Whilst Santana and Dani weren't at the physical stage of their relationship Santana did have to hide a bit of disappointment when Rachel was kicked out rather than her. Sure the loft was awesome and the feeling of one-upping Berry especially after her slap rocked but a small part (okay a more than small part) of Santana was quite hopeful that if she got kicked out, she would be able to go to Dani as a refugee. Santana had even saw it in her head with her knocking on Dani's door and hearing her guitar being put down and Dani's steps down the hallway before the door opens to reveal her girlfriends gorgeous face, probably looking very surprised and pleased at the unexpected visit.

Santana then would've sat Dani down and just explained to her the situation and hint at maybe moving in with Dani since she had nowhere else to go in all of New York and there was no way Santana was going back to Ohio, now that she not only had finally made it (even as annoying Rachel's understudy) but she had a smoking hot girlfriend who was completely into her and no thoughts of straying away.

Santana knew that if the opportunity arose for her and Dani to move forward in their relationship she sure as hell would take it as quick as she could, and it appeared an opportunity just might have come Santana's way!

A/N sorry to have two notes on one chapter just wanted to say a huge thanks to the support I've got, for a first time fan fiction author its awesome to get support from peoples who's fan fictions I read a love! Anyway until next time please review and give me ideas or else I have no way to move forward! Love you all!


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N I am so sorry about giving you nothing for so long but life has been crazy lately with so much school work and other stuff but here is another chapter for you, its slightly longer than the others and I hope to make this chapters length what you can expect but I will see how it goes anyway, please read and review! I love to get feedback and honestly tell me what you want to see next!**

With Santana going back to Lima for the Glee Club's final goodbye Dani had heaps of time to think about what she wanted next. With her and Santana talking everyday with texting, phone calls and Skype even the occasional Snapchat Dani was starting to realise just how much she needed this girl in her life. Her last couple of girlfriends had sucked to say the least and it was coming clearer and clearer that Dani could see her future with this amazing woman who she missed so much and more so she wanted that incredible future.

Dani had been feeling pretty insecure about the whole leaving her girlfriend to go to Lima alone with Brittany and Rachel there but it appeared that Dani actually had something to thank Brittany for such as finally getting Rachel and Santana back to being pals. Santana had told Dani everything that had taken place back at McKinley from all her musical performances - Dani had already asked for her own private Toxic performance, Rachel and her making up and singing about it of course it was Glee Club week after all and most importantly all the stuff that had gone down with Brittany. Saying that she was surprise in anyway would've been lying but Dani couldn't help but feel pretty annoyed that after everything and knowing that Santana was with her now Brittany still thought she could win Santana back and owned those amazing lips.

Santana had done all she could to convince Dani that she was with her and wasn't going back to Brittany and due to Dani's deep feelings she couldn't help herself be convinced too that nothing was going to happen and that her girlfriend was going to remain hers.

Dani's grand plan for getting closer to Santana was moving along smoothly. After discussions with Rachel, Kurt, Blaine and Sam (whom Dani had met when they came to New York together a few months ago) Dani had managed to get them to agree to Rachel moving back in with her best friends and then getting Santana to move in with Dani. They had all discussed how to break the news to Santana but ultimately they had all decided to leave it up to Dani which left her deep in thought and planning out how to break the news to her girlfriend.

Dani's final plan had all come together last night when Elliot had come over and listened to Dani's song which she had specifically written for her girlfriend. Elliot had loved it and had helped her figure out when this should all happen and they had agreed that they day after everyone got back from Lima Dani would take Santana out on a date and take her back to her apartment where Dani would serenade her girlfriend and ask her to move in with her.

Whilst Dani was nervous about asking Santana to move in with her as she knew she was Santana's second real girlfriend and she knew that within herself she didn't think she could handle the rejection from someone she had come to love but through everyone's excitement and convincing along with Dani's feelings for Santana that she felt were being reciprocated, the fear was becoming smaller than the excitement and anticipation.

Walking over to the kitchen Dani checked again for the third time that the chocolates and wine were still sitting in the fridge just waiting for Santana to be back and the question to be asked. Since Dani had finalised her plan at least three times a day, more if she wasn't working, she would check that everything was where it was meant to be. She had also been frantically practising her song which she wanted to play for Santana, making sure that everything was perfect from the tuning of her guitar to the chords and the words which Dani knew would be what meant the most to Santana.

Santana had inspired Dani to write so many songs it was ridiculous. To Dani it seemed like every moment they spent together was perfect and deserved to have a song written about it. There was just something about Santana that inspired Dani and she couldn't just bring it down to one thing which was really the inspiration behind the song she was going to perform for her girlfriend. Her song was all about the way Santana made Dani feel each time she looked at her, touched her and kissed her.

It still amazed Dani each and every time that she thought about Santana that she chose Dani to be with not anyone else. Dani had some issues in the past which still affected her today in regards to self worth and appearance and being with Santana had brought it up again. There was no way that Dani was going to go back to her old ways or anything but when she was out with Santana she always felt like she was being judged by everyone as to why the smoking hot Latina would pick her. Santana had picked up on this and always made sure to flaunt their relationship when Dani gripped her hand that little bit tighter or started to get her look as Santana had once described it.

It had startled Dani the first time when she realised that Santana knew what she was hiding in regards to those issues and confronted her and talked it out, explaining all the things that made her want to be with Dani and why she Santana didn't know how she could measure up to someone so kind and sweet as Dani. Santana had helped Dani through her insecurity as she told (and showed) how because each of them feared that the other was far better that meant that they were meant to be together not apart as each of them worried.

A knock on the door shocked Dani from her thoughts as she wasn't expecting any company with Elliot out on the town and her girlfriend and the rest of the gang still in Lima so she ambled towards the door predicting a lost pizza delivery guy or something but when she opened the door she received a huge surprise.

"Hey babe, did you miss me?"


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Sorry for such a long wait again but I am now on holidays for two weeks so hopefully I will get heaps of time to write and will have written enough to have weekly updates for a while! There's a short flash back just to explain Santana's thoughts and everything. I promise that after this the story will get less about feelings and have more of a storyline. Anyway please read and review, let me know who's perspective you want or if you want me to keep switching from Dani and Santana. xx**

_A knock on the door shocked Dani from her thoughts as she wasn't expecting any company with Elliot out on the town and her girlfriend and the rest of the gang still in Lima so she ambled towards the door predicting a lost pizza delivery guy or something but when she opened the door she received a huge surprise._

"_Hey babe, did you miss me?"_

Every since telling Dani about Brittany's actions I've been a nervous wreck to say the least which I why I decided to come back as soon as possible. Everyone around me could pick up all the tension I had from my mother who threatened to have me pay for a new rug if I didn't stop pacing and the whole Glee Club who started to avoid me because Snix tends to make an appearance when I'm anxious. So I think everyone wasn't surprised and actually thankful when I made a hasty departure after Don't Stop Believing, it's a great song and symbolises so much but this girl I'm going to convince that is the only one for me honestly symbolises my future which means much more to me then a stupid Journey song.

I had ages to think over what I wanted to say and do when I saw Dani all through my travel time but it all seemed like a flash when the taxi dropped me in front of Dani's apartment complex and I looked up to the third floor to see the flash of her hair as she walked past the window. Santana Lopez doesn't get worried or nervous but something about this girl makes me become a pile of mush. As I walked up the stairs carrying my suitcase with me I kept reciting the three words over and over in my head and under my breath. I didn't care what I said as long as I said those three words to my Dani.

I knock once on the door and wait, imagining Dani ambling towards the door not expecting anyone, probably a pizza guy since food is always on her mind and then when the door opens suddenly my confidence is back and I smile at her shocked face and say "Hey babe, did you miss me?"

She responds by squealing and pulling me into a hug before placing a chaste kiss on my lips which leaves me hanging but I don't say anything sure that I'll get something more later. Dani helps me inside and smiles and I put my suitcase by the door and not saying anything to her I simply walk over to her couch and throw myself onto it, smiling incredibly content. I don't have to wait too long at all before my girlfriend curls up beside me so we're spooning on her couch.

"Not that I'm upset in anyway but what are you doing here, you're supposed to be in Lima for three more days Santana"

"Nice that my girlfriend greets me with a hug and a teasing kiss and waits less than two minutes before starting an interrogation, but I guess for just this once I'll abide. Just so you know babe this cannot go past these walls because if it does I'll lose my badass cred"

"Okay, okay but babe no offence but I think you lost that the moment you got panic sweat under your boobs about me but I promise this stays between us so go ahead"

"God Rachel just can't keep anything to herself argh I'll get her back later anyway Lima was great well except for the whole Brittany incident, my lips belong to one person only" I manage to stop myself from continuing as to how only one person owns my heart too but I just pause and take a breath before continuing.

"Remember how I told you how Kurt and Rachel said once that Lima didn't feel like home anymore well that's what has happened to me. It was great to see my parents and be in my house and see everyone even Sue who is now principal I don't even want to know how that happened but anyway there were all these people who I'm so close to and I was in my house except it wasn't home." You decide to look straight into Dani's eyes for this next part so my move your head and look into her gorgeous eyes.

"Even when kissing Brittany which I apologise for and I promise I didn't want to happen at all but I didn't like it or anything but it felt old and sad. Something's happened to me Dani since moving to New York, you see there's this girl who works at the Diner with me, she's smart, sexy, sings and plays the guitar and even gives me panic sweat under my boobs. This girl I speak of and well she's my home, whenever I'm with her I feel like I'm safe, she is my place to land and well, she holds my heart. Dani, I love you so much, you are my home." I feel a tear slide down my cheek and see it fall onto Dani's cheek and I slowly wipe it away, waiting her response.

For a moment she just lies there looking into my eyes before she starts to speak, softly at first but getting louder and louder with each breath.

"Santana I love you too so much and you are my home too. You give me comfort and I've come to realise in your absence that I want you in my life for a long time and I know that I am your second official girlfriend but I can't imagine not waking up and falling asleep next to you and not having my coffee stolen by you and stealing your food in revenge, I can't imagine that for another day so I want to know if you would move in here with me? Will you build a home with me?"

Its now my turn to take a moment and before I realise what I've done Dani starts to ramble.

"Okay it might be too soon but I've talked to like Kurt and Blaine and Sam and Rachel and they all thought you'd like to move in and I even wrote a song for you all about you but if you don't want to move in that's okay, we've made so much progress today so don't freak out okay , babe?"

Without realising it, I've zoned out thinking about moving all my stuff from the loft to Dani's or is it now our apartment, wait shit I haven't said yes yet, damn Santana control yourself, you've just had the girl you love ask you to move in and you don't even say yes before drifting off.

"Yes Dani omg yes 100 times yes, I'm sorry I zoned out thinking about moving all my stuff sorry shit I love you so much!"

"Wait you said moving all your stuff, does that mean Rachel will get her candle drawer back and we'll have a drawer of stripper bra's and crotch less panties?"

"Okay its official Rachel is going down as soon as she gets back we are having a little talk Rachel to Snix"

"No babe I'm sorry I was just getting excited about well that"

"Wanky!"

**A/N Sorry that is such a weird way to end the chapter but I just didn't know how to end so I just did anyway review please!**


	5. Chapter 5

I feel the sunlight hit my skin warming me up and I silently groan not wanting to wake up before I feel a pair of arms surround me. Without opening my eyes, I can feel still feel her gaze and I smirk to myself who knew my girlfriend was such a creeper. Still smirking I open one eye and grin over to Santana "See something you like, maybe a 100% Sapphic Goddess?"

"Nah sorry, nothing I like here, since you know I have this amazing girlfriend who I am hopelessly in love and am lucky enough to live with. My girl is sexy, smart gorgeous so no Sapphic Goddess for me"

I open both my eyes to see my girlfriend smirking at me with a loving look in her eye so I decide to tease her.

"Are you saying I'm not a 100% Sapphic Goddess?" I ask raising my eyebrow watching as my girlfriends face falls

"Shit no Dani not at all argh I swear I was just teasing! Hey you are my girlfriend and I love you and I'm sorry you are like a 1000% Sapphic Goddess!"

I turn away from her trying to contain my laughter at how easily I can trick her but can't help but let out a giggle as she starts to kiss down my neck saying how beautiful I am and how much she loves me.

"OMG Dani I can't believe you would completely bullshit me! Come on that's just mean! Argh babe I love you but maybe I should go back to Lady Hummel and Berry at least they just torture my ears with their singing not my feelings"

As soon as I see the pout form on Santana's face I connect our lips,kissing her forcefully and teasing her with my tongue before swiftly entering her mouth, trying to show her how much I love her and I smile against her lips as I hear a moan from the back of her throat.

Pulling away I say "I'm sorry I couldn't help myself babe but if you need me to show you how much I love you, how about I make pancakes whilst you shower and change before we head over to the loft, I mean it's moving day so maybe we should get moving!"

I jump out of the bed and pad out of the room once again feeling Santana's gaze on me once again as I exit the bedroom I hear her shout out to me "just fore-warning you babe tomorrow it is going to be you and me lazy day at only reason I'm moving today is because you promised pancakes, I hope you know that!"

"Nice to know how much I mean to you babe" I shout in reply before busying myself making breakfast.

Before I know it, we are pulling up to the loft in my car and Santana is jumping out of the car off like a crazy person towards the building before she realises that I'm still locking the car so she rushes back kissing me on the cheek as an apology for leaving me behind before she drags me along behind. As we enter the loft Santana let's go of my arm and goes over to her room leaving me standing at the lofts entrance.

"I take that last night went well then?" Rachel asks as she appears from the kitchen.

"I went far better than expected actually Rach she's moving in with me and did you know she loves me Rach, she love me?"

"Of course I knew dummy anyone can tell where Santana's heart lies and where it's lay since she got that panic sweat on her underboob and gazed at you across the diner. Thats why Brit kissed her back in Lima because the spark that was once in her eyes every time she look at Brit or even just talked about her was gone and it's now with you and Brit wanted it back."

"Wow I had no idea that it was that obvious that San loved me"

"Well she does Dani so much, you are perfect for her and as much as Brit will be her first love you are her soul mate Brit was safe but you challenge her and are spontaneous and make her a better person, you aren't the safe option but to Santana I think she's finally realised how much you are the only option that matters to her anymore."

Suddenly Santana comes out from her area wheeling a suitcase behind her "Damn right she's the only option that matters Berry! You better have not have told my girl anything stupid, I know where your loofah is!"

I interject before Santana can continue her threat and wrap my arms around her. "You seriously need to calm down we are moving in together and Rachel here has been saying nothing but nice things about me and you actually!"

"Okay well if that's the case Berry I will bid you adieu and see you sometime soon wish Lady Hummel well and tell him I will be back for my stuff so don't do whatever he and Gel-Boy do when they are together in my space, thanks!"

Rachel and I look at each other and laugh at Santana's hasty goodbye as she literally wheels her suitcase out the door.

"Sorry about her she just excited and I know by tonight she will be talking about how you would be doing a musical medley by now which is her way of missing you guys."

"It's fine Dani by now I know Santana and I'm just happy to see her so happy and also more room for me, the star of Funny Girl deserves space!"

"Berry I am so happy you find my girlfriend so freaking awesome but a) she's mine so no lesbihonest action from you please and b) she is allowing me to move in with her because she loves me and doesn't want me going insane from show tune disease so please allow her to rain check this conversation until a later date which will be never."

Rachel and I laugh again at Santana's madness before I say my goodbye and leave the loft knowing that if I don't leave on my own accord I will be dragged or carried out by my very excited girlfriend.

I have a feeling that tonight could be the night that we finally take the step and make love, I know I'm ready too and I have been since the minute I set eyes on my Latina, it's all up to Santana now.

_A/N: Okay I suck not even going to try to be like hey I'm busy I should've done something and I'm sorry I'm going to try to start writing on my Ipad as well and just see how much better I go and I've also planned out the plot so hopefully it will be heaps easier to just write and stuff. So I hope you guys have enjoyed this LONG overdue update please review I makes my like life! Anyway I really hope to have an update up soon too! _


	6. Chapter 6

After finally leaving the loft since Dani appeared to want to hang out with Rachel for hours we drove back in her car. It was a very silent car ride both of us deep into our own thoughts. My mind was running at a million miles an hour. After everything I had been through with Brittany I couldn't believe I was here right now, on my way to start my life with the person who I knew was my soul mate. That was a difference between this relationship and Brittany, with Britt it was always a day by day thing from us being deeply in love to just friends or being unable to communicate with each other and let our feelings show.

It was the opposite with Dani even though we had known each other for such a small amount of time and been in a serious relationship for even less we talked all the time. We discussed the little things like what lyrics Dani was struggling with for whatever amazing song she was working on to which guilty pleasure TV show we were going to watch (come on who doesn't want to watch Pretty Little Liars I secretly ship Emison which I don't think Dani really knows although after that 100th episode I might have tipped her off due to my squeals over all the feels but she was going to find out eventfully anyway if we were living together she would get used to PLL Wednesday!)

Don't get me wrong though we didn't just talk about superficial stuff (not that Emison or Spody for that matter are superficial they are real and perfection) but we also talked about the bigger stuff such are what our dreams for our future careers are, our ideal families with kids in the mix along with everything both about the future and the past, no matter how many tears resulted from telling the stories or even how hard it was to even begin the conversation in the first place. Don't worry though we aren't just that boring couple who sit around all day and talk, hello who is one half of Dantana? Shit note to self don't tell Rachel I used that or else she will get all enthusiastic and talk about shipping us together and some other stupid Dwarf stuff anyway that's all beside the point focus Santana.

Basically Dani and I are awesome, we balance each other out, as much as I hate to admit it she brings out my softer side and I in return help to bring out her badass side. I love our relationship and I love her more than absolutely anything which is why I am so happy we are finally at her or should I say our apartment, ready to start this living together thing.

"You alright babe?" I ask Dani as she sits in her seat after having parked the car and turning it off. I realise I've awoken her from her deep thoughts as she stretches and her eyes come back to life as she turns towards me. I smile unable to help myself as I look at her perfect face and gaze into her beautiful brown eyes which I get to call mine and then she just smiles back at me just holding my gaze for a second or two before suddenly until she winking at me before getting out of the car.

"If I knew you were going to become all silent and mysterious on me I would've considered your living invitation a little more seriously babe" I say jokingly to Dani as I stretch and get out if the car myself.

"Seriously San I don't answer one question and you think I've become mute maybe I should be the one reconsidering my invitation to live together, if I wanted to live with a drama queen wouldn't I pick Rachel?" Dani says teasing me right back.

"Wow I now know where I stand in this relationship apparently behind Rachel which is great, good to know after I confessed my love to you and agreed to move in" I say acting hurt.

"I'm sorry babe I'm only teasing you, you know you are my number one, in my mind no one could even come close to being compared with you. Also I mean we both know that you do more than enough talking for the both of us and maybe I was just thinking how less talking and more moving would allow you to move in quicker giving us more time to relax and settle into our home?"

"If you didn't want to talk babe just let me know instead of making excuses!" I say smirking at my girlfriend before grabbing my suitcase from the boot and making my way over to the apartment complex, shaking my hips knowing that Dani is watching my every move.

It's takes us a few hours to really unpack all my stuff I mean I would've been perfectly happy to just laze around and chill and unpack as needed but Dani was a slave driver moving stuff everywhere and expecting me to like know what to whilst I just stood there like "babe I love you and all but I can't read your mind not matter how much I want to!"

We were now just finally relaxing on the couch her head in my lap as I stroked her head each of us once again in our thoughts it was almost as though we had run out of things to talk about but I knew that wasn't the case it was just that we were comfortable. It wasn't like we didn't talk whilst unpacking, organising and sorting, making dinner and eating it!

"Hey San?"

"Yeah babe what's up?"

"How do you feel about this, about us, like honestly how are you?"

"I feel like that's an awfully big question for this time of night" I reply winking at my girlfriend as she rolls her eyes at me quoting Spencer.

"Seriously babe I know Spencer is your TV spirit person but I would like to know the answer to my questions."

"Well firstly I feel like this is perfect I am lying here with your head in my lap comfortable in my home. Secondly if you didn't know already I'm telling you know, I am 100% serious about us. I love you Dani and I see a future with you that is big, exciting and fantastic all at once. And you asked how I am well I'm the best I've ever been. I am relaxing with the woman I love more than anything or anyone with the knowledge that I am safe and that each and every day the woman lying in my lap is improving me and making me a better person allowing me to fall in love with them over and over again each and every day."

As I finish I look down at Dani and realise she's looking up at me with her big brown eyes, the love evident in them and I kiss her forehead making her frown slightly.

"What's that frown for brown eyes?"

"Well I believe that there is somewhere that needs your lips a little bit more"

"Really do you think so babe?" I question as I kiss her check knowing exactly what she means but enjoying teasing her. This backfires on me however as Dani moves as soon as my lips leave her check, straddling me as she firmly pressing her lips onto mine. I moan instantly from the unexpectedness of the kiss before I moan again as I feel her tongue glide across my lips before entering my mouth. Not wanting to give in completely at least not just yet, I push myself up so Dani is still straggling me but we are both sitting up allowing me to engage in a tongue battle with Dani before I pick her up and walk over to our room.

As I place her down on the bed disconnecting our lips Dani asks if I'm ready for this and after that make out session and then her absolute sweetness I feel myself grow wet at the thought of what's going to happen, instead of answering the question I firmly attach me lips back onto Dani's signalling my agreement to what's about to happen which will be amazing.

**A/N so I am honestly so surprised I have managed to update in like two weeks which I know is still bad but I mean it's better than like random months and stuff writing is also getting easier which is good. Please let me know if you want me to do like Dani's perspective on this chapter (maybe you'll be a few more details of the night's activity from her ;) or if you want me to just continue the story with just a tiny time jump like a few weeks. Also just a quick shout out to my amazing friend who recommended Santana's guilty pleasure TV show - I admire you so much and thank you xx. Anyway hope you enjoyed this chapter and review please seriously it makes my life and I love to do what you guys want me to so yeah review please! Until next time stay strong guys and I love you xx**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N Hi guys so this chapter is shorter than usual and that's because it's a bonus chapter yay! I've actually planned out this story finish to end and this is basically because a guest reviewer wanted to read Dani's perspective of the night and hear a bit more about the events that took place wink wink so that's what I've done. The beginning of this chapter is repetitive of the last one but hopefully a while in you guys get a big more depth and detail. Also shout out to anonymous person who I know is reading this right now so basically hey there thanks for reading this chapter - you know who you are, so embarrassed you are going to read this!**

**Seriously though you guys are awesome each time I see someone has read my story I'm so excited! Hopefully next chapter will also be up soon so look out for that. **

Santana and I spent a few hours unpacking all her stuff, I honestly didn't realise how much stuff a person could have considering Rachel had always made out that Santana had just turned up with a suitcase on their doorstep but the amount of stuff that seemed to be now everywhere over the apartment was crazy. I think Santana has more stuff here then myself honestly. I did just leave my a-hole parents with my guitar, savings and a duffel bag of clothes and I haven't really ever had the money or the effort to really buy all the stuff Santana has but still I have no idea where all this stuff is from and how it got here.

Anyway Santana and I were now just relaxing on our couch after a very quick and easy dinner of salad and chicken both curled up content with our thoughts, that was what I loved about our relationship we didn't need to talk all the time and were just comfortable being around each other in silence. Woah just realised how lame that sounded but like Santana and myself do talk but it's nice to know that you can have your own thoughts and just relax and chill together.

As I feel Santana stroking my head I decide to ask her how she feels about us and after a brief joke from her (side note but like Santana seriously loves pretty little liars like Spencer is her spirit character and as sexy as she is Santana is so much better) San opened up to me telling me how she was comfortable and safe and she made me feel so special saying all those loving things that I couldn't help but look up at Santana's face as she finishes speaking causing her to kiss my forehead creating a small frown on my face as I like those lips somewhere else, a little further down on my face.

Santana noticing my frown decides to tease me so I decide to take the matter into my own hand sickly straddling Santana firmly pressing my lips onto her own and teasing her mouth half begging for entrance with my tongue after a few moments Santana gives in and we begin a tongue battle. Before I even know what's happening as I'm too distracted by what's going on with my mouth I am suddenly picked up by Santana (thank god she was a cheerleader) and carried into our bedroom gently placed down on our bed.

Santana disconnects our lips and I stare up at my gorgeous girlfriend I can feel the heat down at my core but I don't want to push Santana so I ask if she is ready for this and I get a very enthusiastic response as Santana firmly attaches her lips to mine this time, thrusting her tongue into my mouth causing a moan to erupt from the back of my throat.

The moan goes straight to my core and I feel the desire begin to coarse through my body so I sit up and grasp the bottom of Santana's top looking into her eyes for permission which is hastily given and I quickly peel off her shirt. What I am met with almost causes me to cum right there; her breasts are perfectly held in place by her red bra and her abs are perfection. I move my mouth from Santana's but quickly attach it to her neck sucking down, spending extra attention on her spot which causes her to arch her back and let out a low moan.

Figuring that this is a sign to take this further I reach to remove Santana's bra and my eyes widen as her breasts are free for the first time the way she thrusts her hips towards me I know she is becoming desperate so I suck on one of her nipples whilst ridding her of her pants and flipping us around so Santana is lying on the bed and I am over her.

I suddenly her Santana say my name and I realise that she is begging me to touch her and as much as I want to tease her even more I can't help but give in to the love of my life. I gently rub her clit first feeling how wet she is before I thrust two fingers into her causing a gasp and then a deep throaty moan to occur. I allow Santana to adjust before I begin to thrust into her feeling her thrust right back and I continue to rub her clit in time with our thrusting motion gradually building up speed as I feel Santana get closer and closer.

Santana's breathing gets heavier and heavier and realising how close she is to orgasming I thrust into her deeply, just hitting her g-spot as she screams my name over and over again cumming all over my fingers. I continue to thrust slowly into Santana as she comes down from her high before removing my fingers, licking them clean and laying down next to my beautiful flawless girlfriend.

She lies there breathing for a few moments just staring up at me lovingly and I smile down and her before we are suddenly flipped and Santana does to me what I have just done to her, sending me into oblivion.

**So that ending sucked but anyway... please fave, follow and review! thanks for reading you are incredible! xx.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N Hey guys so it's been a while ya da ya da ya da but here's a chapter so enjoy lol. I've planned out this story to help me write but if you ever want me to write something let me know and I'll do my best to add it to the story this story is just as much my story as it is yours! Without further ado here's the story!**

Santana and I have been living together for about two weeks now and I love it. Coming home each night after a day of band practise and work at the diner it was great to be greeted by Santana if we haven't been on the same shift obviously. I could always count on coming home to some new amazing smell wafting from the kitchen as Santana had taken to being the dinner chef whilst I was the breakfast chef and boy could she cook. I swear every time I took a bite of whatever she had cooked I had a foodgasm like Santana is amazing in bed and I'd keep her around just for that but there's a reason why I love her and it's stuff like this, that she can cook super well and that she has these like hidden talents and skills that she hides from most people but I'm lucky to get to see them.

The amazing food was a stark contrast to my old food regime of either diner food, take out or if I was super energised I would make myself pasta, super lame I know. I had questioned Santana about whether she wanted me to take over sometime and we organise like a dinner schedule but she was adamant that she wanted to look after me since I was always looking after her and she also enjoyed cooking because it allowed her to connect with her culture and family.

In a way this was like me too we both had rough family paths although Santana always insists mine is worse but still we both had ruined relationships with members of our family and we both needed to find ways to connect and for both of us that was food. I am a Latina through and through my Dad was Latina and had always taught me to have pride in my culture but I was also Italian through my mum and my happiest memories of home weren't of stupid church gatherings where everyone sat around discussing the sinners of the world and even then around age 12 I had to stand there knowing that I was the sinner they were talking about but anyway mum was Italian and thus every Sunday after church my most hated part of the week came my happiest part of the week Sunday lunch. We would get home from the hell hole and my dad brother and sister would all go away and do their own thing whilst my mum and I would cook pasta and make salad and dessert and basically everything and then the family would sit down together and eat the amazing food.

It was those memories that were currently haunting me as tonight I was first home for once and I was making dinner for the both of us, sure I was just planning to make the family pasta recipe and an Italian salad but I wanted to celebrate our relationship and how after two weeks we are still happy and in love. I'm stirring the pasta sauce on the stove when I feel two arms wrap around me and a kiss placed on my feather tattoo behind my ear.

"Hey D"

"Hey babe how are you, how was your visit to the wonder twins?"

"Loud and full of singing, have I told you today how much I love you and am so thankful to have you in my life?"

"No you haven't but are you just thankful for me because I have an apartment?"

"Well as great as it is that you have an apartment I think the way you make me scream your name and your personality and beauty are just a bit more important D."

"Why thank you Santana and I could say the exact same about you. How about I finish this off and you get changed and then we sit down to dinner?"

"Sure babe, see you in a few." As Santana says this I stir the sauce once more and turn around to see her ass swaying out the kitchen and I know that she's doing that on purpose, knowing that her ass, her abs and her eyes are what I think are the sexiest.

I put together the pasta for Santana and I and put it all on the table perfectly timed at Santana comes out from our bedroom looking gorgeous with no makeup and in sweats and a hoodie. I seriously must love Santana because even know when to most people she would look pretty bad I find her so attractive and just perfect, I guess that's how you knew it's love when someone should look their worst and you still think they are sexy.

"So how are, how was your day babe?" I ask watching as Santana takes her first bite of the pasta.

"Well it's great now that I'm eating this amazing pasta and I'm with you so it's perfect."

"Well I know everyday spent with me is perfect." I say winking at her before continuing "but how was work with Kurt and Rachel?"

"It was fine I mean there were these jackasses who wouldn't take a hint even when I told them I was a lesbian so that was fun not but I mean it's work so what do I expect next time babe though you need to be there so we can demonstrate how un straight I am!"

"Sounds perfect although I don't know whether that'll be appropriate how about we practise later tonight see if we can control ourselves?"

"Okay Dani seriously not happening like I haven't seen you all day and you got up early so we didn't get to have our usual wake up also this is our apartment so it's our place to do what we want to each other and there is no way in hell after I've been Dani deprived all day I'm just going to make out with you."

"I will take you up on that offer later Ms Lopez! Ooo and I wanted to ask this before but how was the loft without your existence boring and filled with show tunes I presume"

"Absolutely the gay wonder twins had literally turned it into a like rainbow place no gangsta or anything I was the only thing keeping that place off the Broadway crazy house but once I moved out it's gone downhill I'm telling you babe thank god I left when I did!"

"What did you do while you were there apart from suffer from Broadway?"

"We just played stupid games and omg I think Rachel kinda likes Quinn cause when we were talking about people we've slept with she like almost slapped me when I said Quinn."

"Wait you slept with Quinn and didn't tell me!?"

**So I don't even know if that's a cliff hanger anyway it happened so yeah. As always fave follow review love you all for reading in the first place but like it's awesome to actually see people loving the story!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N so I updated yesterday and I'm updating today I don't know what's happening I got inspired today and was just like yeah smash it out update yeah! So that's what I'm doing this is really weird I know but kinda going to rant out here so basically there is someone who reads this fan fiction and is reading his right now I promised to shout out to you on this chapter so hey you! Also shout out to an amazing twitter friend of mine she makes me blush everyday and says the nicest things ever so yeah thank you for being in my life you are seriously too good to be true. Anyway without further ado here is the next chapter enjoy!**

WARNING SELF HARM DEPRESSION MENTION

_Previously..._

"We just played stupid games and omg I think Rachel kinda likes Quinn cause when we were talking about people we've slept with she like almost slapped me when I said Quinn."

"Wait you slept with Quinn and didn't tell me!?

_Now..._

Without realising it I literally just dropped an apparent bombshell from the look on Dani's face. I honestly thought we had discussed this, I mean we've been together for almost three months and I was certain it had come up sometime among the Brittany exes discussion but obviously not. I didn't know what to do, the look on Dani's face had turned from shock and horror to un-readable, I could usually always tell exactly what she was thinking with one look at her face but now it was a clean slate impossible for me to read or gain even a hint of any possible emotion or feeling she had. I continue sitting there, just staring at Dani, not knowing whether she expects me to say something or whether it's going to be better for our relationship for me to just sit there as she absorbs what she's just heard. I'm shaken from my thoughts as Dani's chair scrapes back.

"I'm going to need a minute San" she says as she gets up and heads towards our bedroom. I can't help but shake my head at myself she made dinner for us and I guarantee that when she planned out tonight the night didn't end with her in the bedroom alone experiencing anything but pleasure.

I figure that if I was in a similar situation I'd want to be left alone at least for a little while so I begin to clean everything up washing up everything and boxing up all the leftovers before placing them in the fridge for a later time. Confused as to what to do now I go lie down on the couch and call Rachel figuring she'll be able to offer some advice.

POV Change Dani

My head has been a rush of thoughts ever since Santana told me she'd slept with Quinn I honestly didn't know what the problem was but I was starting to figure out that it was my demons coming back into play. Santana didn't know it I mean we'd been dating for three months, loved each other and lived together but my demons were calm when Santana was around and it wasn't like I was just going to bring up one day how I remember sitting in the darkness of my bedroom holding my side after using a razor but feeling no regret just like relief at the voices calming down. I hadn't cut or felt depressed since I'd met Santana and until now I hadn't worried about the fact that my demons were calmed down by Santana someone who is had no control over. The reason my demons were flaring up was because is seen pictures of Quinn and Brittany and they were anything but me. Blonde, thin, athletic whilst I was well me with my constantly changing dyed hair and multiple tattoos. What was I in comparison to those girls and Santana she was incredible and fitted in perfectly with them whilst I was the girl who had no friends, had mood swings all the time and was only truly happy when listening to music. I thought I knew who I was until now when I realise who I am up against and am being compared to and once again just like high school I'm lost I feel like I'm going go back to saying stupid things and acting more stupid then I am and being so crazy and hyper one minute whilst literally writing short verses about cutting the next.

I figure I at least need to hear what Santana has to say before I let the voices take over so I open the bedroom door to hear Santana talking to someone on the phone. I can't help but listen in, I hear her murmur that she doesn't know what to do before she listens for the persons response and suddenly I hear her get up and I know something serious has happened.

"You don't understand though I can't just be like oh she was a two time fling even though that's exactly what she was, even less if it was possible because this is Dani. Dani the girl I love so much and I envision everything with no just tomorrow or the next day but the future all the way along. She keeps me sane and happy and I can't lose her, you saw me how I was after Britt and I broke up but that was my first love whilst D is my soul mate, our love is eternal and now I've gone and stuffed it up." Santana finishes and I can't help but step in, hearing her voice crack at the end knowing that she's really upset.

"Santana you haven't stuffed up at all my head is confused but I know I love you and you are it for me and if it was just a two time fling or less it don't matter to me because there's something that matters more to me then the air I breathe and that's you baby and I can't give you up no matter what."

Santana stares at me for a minute before just hanging up the phone and kissing me deeply and I feel the love through the kiss.

"I think we just had our first fight D and look here we are no moving out or anything. I love you so much and I am so so sorry for not telling you about Quinn because well she doesn't matter there was no spark no love literally nothing between us baby and I can't stress enough how little it meant like baby when I saw you across the diner I felt something I never felt with Quinn and never will. Thank you for not giving up on us babe."

"You are the only exception Santana and as long as you'll let me I will never give up on us, I promise on our love. Now were you on the phone to Rachel because if so should we head over to the loft to let her know the good news that we've got back together?"

Santana pecks my lips whispering I loves you in between each one before just smiling at me and reaching for my hand.

POV Change Santana

We arrive at the loft to feel it empty but we just go in anyway it's not like I didn't live there like two weeks ago or anything so I just throw myself down on the couch pulling Dani down to lay on top of me. We lie there in silence a starch contrast to the shouting of earlier and I lie there listening to our heartbeats which I feel are synchronised however I could just be hallucinating and overthinking the entire thing which is more then likely I'm awaken from my heart beat counting as Dani starts to talk.

"Hey San what do you think of cruises?"

"Well I mean there nice I suppose I mean the company your with is the main thing since your like stuck on a boat with whoever you go with so I mean I'm not against them or anything I guess..."

"Well I was thinking that we should go on a cruise together I saw one leaving from New York in like four months are there was a special romance suite available if your interest babe?"

"Oh I am more than interested spending time with you and only you not wonder twin interruptions or work and we can just go around wearing bikinis and just hang out together, my only question is if you are willing to bet on us for that long?"

"Santana in all seriousness and I'm not just saying this so you go on a cruise with me and rock my world multiple times every day but I love you so much and when I look into the future it's simply made up of you and only you. The future is no longer mine is ours and I want to embrace that love."

I can't help but break out into a huge smile and just whisper I love you back before connecting our lips for a sweet kiss but it quickly turns into more as I feel the need of Dani and just embrace it all.

I let out a deep moan and Dani's tongue battles against mine and I pull her closer until we are literally just one body meshed together. I'm so caught up in the gorgeous sexy body of my girlfriend to realise we have company as suddenly the loft door is open and I hear a shriek pulling apart to see Rachel, Kurt and Brittany holding hands with a random dude and my first thought is WTF!

**There it is another cliff-hanger maybe I don't even know anyway thanks for reading and please follow fave and review it makes my day! Talk to you guys soon xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N So this is crazy this is my third update in three days I have no idea what's happening and honestly I can't begin to explain but I've been inspired and well I have two amazing people in my life who help me do this. I do have to say though that this is a shorter chapter sorry about that but I'm moving along so I'm happy for now. Shout out to an anonymous reader for reading this fan fiction and not judging me for writing everything within it and also for saying all these nice things about my writing even the bits you find weird and can't quite understand, I am so grateful to know you and be able to know that you know who I will always pick in a celebrity would you rather or just in general ;). Also shout out to BrittzandTana, you inspired and continue to inspire me to become a writer after reading all your amazing work and now I am so lucky so, so lucky to get to call you MTB and I can honestly say I don't know how I got through days where I didn't talk to you, you make my life better by making me blush and knowing me and all that jazz and I will never be able to repay you so thank you so very much. So without further ado here's another chapter don't expect this to happen like this is seriously weird!**

_Previously_

I let out a deep moan and Dani's tongue battles against mine and I pull her closer until we are literally just one body meshed together. I'm so caught up in the gorgeous sexy body of my girlfriend to realise we have company as suddenly the loft door is open and I hear a shriek pulling apart to see Rachel, Kurt and Brittany holding hands with a random dude and my first thought is WTF!

_Now_

POV Change Dani

One minute I'm lying on top of Santana making out until suddenly there are people in the loft, and not just Kurt and Rachel but it looks like after just dealing with the Quinn bombshell Dantana is going to be hit by the power of Brittany and who the dude holding her hand is. If I'm being honest I've got to admit that seeing them holding hands is a relief because I know the power a first love has I'm lucky enough to have found my first and eternal love in one person but Brittany was Santana's first love and if I'm being honest for a split second I could see her just walking away however I'm shaken from this thought as I realise the position I'm currently in so I get up pulling Santana with me. As we get up and then stand there holding hands the loft is filled with an awkward silence even the New York traffic seems to have just stopped for greater effect. It's no surprise to me when Rachel breaks the ice.

"So guessing from the position you guys were in you've made up or were you making up and if so should I be grateful that I walked in now before our couch became an innocent victim?" Rachel jokes raising her eyebrows at both of us.

I turn to my girlfriend and watch as her face turns into a smirk and I know a witty retort is going to come out very, very soon and I am right.

"Ha ha ha Berry that's the funniest thing you've ever said but yes for your information we have made up and also it's not as if you and Dough Boy did nothing, this couch would probably appreciate some lesbian loving from me and my girl"

"I'm sure that's true Santana, thankfully you waited to believe the loft before you started all that. Thank you by the way Dani for whisking Satan away before ear plugs had to be brought." Kurt says smiling at me obviously sensing my nervousness about the one person standing behind him.

I can't help but return to smile and I decide to take the first step and introduce myself to Brittany so I arm around Santana hoping to show how close we are (not because I'm extremely territorial and want to show that Santana is mine and I have the hold on her now at all... cough cough) and I start to speak after feeling Santana's lips kiss the top of my head.

"It's my pleasure Kurt I love having this one all to myself." It's at this point that I turn my attention towards Brittany and her boyfriend. "Hi I'm Dani, Santana's girlfriend; it's a pleasure to meet you both." I get a smile from Brittany before her boyfriend steps forward into the loft finally allowing the door to close meaning that we are all now trapped inside here.

"Nice to meet you Dani and you too Santana I've heard so much about the both of you from B and Kurt and Rachel obviously. My names Jake and I'm B's boyfriend I go to school with her actually at MIT." Jake says with a smile as Brittany smiles at him softly. Having her boyfriend speak first has obviously calmed her nerves as she begins to speak.

"Hi San it's been a while and hi Dani it's nice to finally put a face to a name."

I can't help but feel awkward at this statement so I just smile at Brittany as Rachel ushers everyone to the lounge area before starting off conversation. It's times like this that I love Rachel for being so loud and dominating. I feel good though as when we sit down I curl into Santana, laying my head in her lap and she begins to stroke my hair, looking at me with love in her eyes much better than the discomfort that I could see in them when everyone first turned up.

POV Change Santana

When I first saw Britt and her boyfriend I honestly thought this was going to go horribly but after talking to them for over an hour now I can't help but feel comfortable well as comfortable as you can when you are talking to your ex and her new boy with your girlfriend but so far nothing awkward has happened although all you've talked about is everyone's jobs and current school and career endeavours with Berry going on about bloody Funny Girl for so long you thought she was going to be Funny Lady by the end of it but it allowed for no awkward stuff about the past or feelings which was brilliant. Dani has been particularly brilliant throughout this whole thing she's been lying down with her head in my lap the whole time and each time she feels me tense up she simply curls up closer to me and tightens her grip on my hand whilst smiling up at me or more often than not giving me a quick peck on my lips which always releases any tension within my body, well except for down there cause you know my girl is smoking and my body is going to act accordingly. There's been a soft silence for a few moments now and I look over to see Britt and Jake whispering before Jake turns to Dani and I.

"So Brittany and I were wondering if you guys knew a good restaurant in New York and if you two would like to join us tonight, it would be great to get to know the both of you!" Jake says smiling over at us whilst Brittany also smiles at us but I can see the nervousness in her eyes.

I look at Dani and she nods at me and I accept the plans. Looks like I'm going on a double date with my first love and eternal love I can't even seen where this evening is going to go and I don't think I want to either.

**Ooo double date pretty sure you all know how it's going to end or do you ;) as always thank you all for reading and please follow fave and review it makes my day! Until next time xx**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N so I just realised a massive time discrepancy in this fan fiction like dinner time and then like they go to the loft whatever this chapter hopefully fixes that up with the whole next day thing so yeah sorry guys! As usual shout out to the usual people for being awesome aka all you guys lol! Sorry that this chapter is once again quite short however I can say I got super inspired today and wrote a 2k chapter so yeah look forward to that! Anyway enjoy this chapter I can say there is heaps of drama coming however I know how this story ends and when it like stops being drama and I can promise you that the Dantana making up and the end of this fan fic will make it worth the rocky shores ahead! Thanks for reading guys hope you enjoy!**

Next Day

_POV Dani_

I've never been the dating type I mean my first "girlfriend" was just like my make out buddy, someone I could fool around with and well we all know how that "relationship" ended. Since then I've moved to New York and had a few friends, a girls got needs you know but Santana is my first girlfriend and my first love so I'm experiencing so much with her for the very first time. Tonight will be my first double date and it couldn't be starting off better. After Jake and Brittany invite us out we agreed on a really awesome Mexican ( nowhere near as good as Santana's cooking but you know it's still Mexican food) place near our apartment so today Santana and I have just hang out until we had a shift together which was awesome literally anytime a dude hit on either of us we have this like signal to the other and we rescue the other by well making out basically appropriately though don't worry as irresistible as Santana is I don't really want to be arrested for public indecency as well as lose my job and since Santana and I live together now we have plenty of time to make out clothes on and off ;).

Santana and I had just got back from our shift and we are currently deciding what to wear Santana and I have agreed that we want to look sexy and like we are together but not like too I don't even know how to describe it but it appears like we are going for black heels I'm wearing black jeans and a white flowy top whilst Santana is going with this freaking amazing black and white dress I seriously have no idea how my girlfriend manages to look sexy and gorgeous and beautiful and oh so desirable if you catch my drift all in one I honestly thought it was impossible until now!

We quickly shower together I mean an hour is an okay shower time right anyway we shower get changed and put our makeup on before checking the time and realising that we had allowed for longer showering time so we head to the computer to watch some YouTube videos. Yes I may have gotten my girlfriend obsessed with YouTube sorry not sorry like she had no idea any of these amazing people and now we are literally checking everyday for a Zoella video or a hilarious Miranda clip (we still haven't stopped laughing from the Shake It Off cover, we both love Taylor Swift and this song is our dance song but Miranda just takes everything to the next level) anyway we catch up on all the YouTube updates and watch some of our liked videos before we head out to walk to the restaurant.

"You nervous D?" Santana asks me smiling and I rest my head on her shoulder as we walk.

"I guess I mean it's my first double date ever and not just that it's with my girlfriends ex so yeah I'm a bit nervous I guess but I have you by my side so I can get through anything" I reply looking up at my girlfriend as she presses her lips to the top of her head.

"Just like I can do anything when I'm with you D."

At this point we've reached the restaurant and we see Jake and Brittany already seated so we go over and do the typical hey how are you's before sitting down and discussing the food and ordering. It's after we've ordered that the awkward silence starts. Everyone's just looking at each other giving smiles and Brittany is the first one to become too uncomfortable as she nudges Jake and he starts conversation.

"So Santana you and Dani are in love yeah, like me and Britt here?" Jake asks Santana and I look over to her expecting an immediate response however all I see is a look of panic on my girlfriends face her eyes wide open appearing to be unable to formulate even a simple sentence.

"Santana?" I ask her raising my eyebrow as she turns to look at me looking less panicked and more afraid, her eyes don't even meet mine they just stare off becoming almost void of all emotion. I can't help but feel hurt because I know if I was asked the exact same question right now my answer would be strong and immediate probably turning into a long lengthy talk about how much I loved Santana and what I loved about her not silence and panic and fear.

Jake looks at me along with Brittany both looking at me confused and all I can do is make a weak smile and come up with a appropriate way to end this meal.

"Excuse us we clearly need to talk I'm so sorry to ruin the night guys enjoy the meal here's $50 that should cover whatever we've order thanks for inviting us, hopefully we can do it again sometime." I say as I quickly get up and usher Santana out of the restaurant eager to say what I think in a less public environment and as soon as we start our walk to the apartment I can't help myself and I start to talk.

"Santana it's one way or another you can't say you love me and act like you think this is the future and forever and then not even be able to say you love me it's not a marriage proposal or even a freaking promise ring it's literally just I love you! I can say it and I know you can because up until now I heard it so often and I believed it. Why can't you say me love me Santana why, do you not love me?"

**A/N as always please fave follow and review! Love you guys xx**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N so it's pretty much been a week give or take lol so hopefully fingers crossed this is a sign that I'm going to keep on a weekly schedule thing yay! Although over the next few weeks I'm going to be making a massive decision over whether I change schools or not I love writing and this is a nice release to just drift away into the beautiful world of Dantana! Anyway enjoy this chapter even though it probably isn't very happy I promise you all that by the end of this story Dantana will be together hopefully forever *wink wink* lol. This chapter may not be his good but honestly like I said before the chapter after this is epic if I do say so myself lol it is the favourite thing I've ever written and it's also over 2k which is seriously amazing! Anyway I'm sorry I swear I just ramble in these things lol and I'm just gushing and whatever anyway let's get on with the chapter right! Enjoy reading! xx**

POV Dani

Previously:

"Santana it's one way or another you can't say you love me and act like you think this is the future and forever and then not even be able to say you love me it's not a marriage proposal or even a freaking promise ring it's literally just I love you! I can say it and I know you can because up until now I heard it so often and I believed it. Why can't you say me love me Santana why, do you not love me?"

Now:

After I say that there's just silence as we walk back to the apartment and I become lost in my thoughts or really thought of losing Santana, of how she could just say that she didn't love me and everything would come crashing down around me. With just those four words she holds the power of my life being taken away from me and also my future. Not only would I lose all that but I know that my demons would return with her departure, I mean they are already softly telling me that I'm just not good enough, never have been and never will be so if this was a permanent thing then I would become haunted once again and endure more torture at the hands of my own mind.

Somehow subconsciously my brain has managed to direct my body back to the apartment and set myself up so I'm sitting at the table across from Santana who is staring right back at me. We stare at each other for a while each of us daring the other to speak first and not surprisingly it's Santana who breaks first.

"I'm so sorry." She whispers giving me a very soft, sad smile.

I can't help but weakly smile back, I've always found her smile contagious but I quickly wipe my smile off my face as I feel my heart in my chest hurting, already slightly cracked from what's just happened.

"Babe I just want to understand what happened back there. Are you uncomfortable with this relationship or your feelings, do they not exist?" I ask, feeling the tears start to form in my eyes as I realise the power I have just handed Santana on a silver platter and the possible response she could give.

She just looks back at me for a few seconds before replying.

"I didn't want to hurt B's feelings, I mean we both have only just moved on in the last six months from each other and we just started to reconnect yesterday. I just couldn't bear to hurt her again, I put her through so much when we were together and apart and she will always be my best friend."

My head processes what Santana's just said but without a second thought I say the first stupid thing that pops into my head.

"So you don't want to hurt Brittany so instead you will hurt me Santana, is that what you're saying?"

"Come on D as if don't be stupid about this love I'm sorry."

"Oh so I'm also stupid now am I? Want to keep adding to this list Santana I mean why are you even her if you don't love me, don't care about my feelings and consider me stupid seriously!"

"I didn't mean it like that D and you know it! You know I love you more than anyone or anything. I don't think we should continue this conversation right now though because we are both riled up." Santana says reaching for my hands that are resting on the table.

Something inside me seriously cracks this time, probably thanks to the voices in my head which have clearly taken control of me.

"Why don't you want to talk now San, I mean are you worried that you'll say what you really think and feel?" I ask ending with a bitter chuckle.

She just states at me so I take this silence as a sign for me to continue.

"We can't push that away okay we are in a relationship, an adult relationship which means we talk when we argue and don't agree okay? God this isn't some high school romance or fling or whatever this is real life now!"

As I say this I see Santana snap and I know that this isn't going to end well but honestly I don't care I've gone too far to back down now.

"Okay I get it Dani; you didn't have the typical high school love story. Your parents treated you like crap and you left and grew up super fast and I seriously understand this alright. However some of us did have a high school romance but you can't hold that against me god I did experience my first love in high school and my first heartbreak okay but like honestly who gives me damn this is supposed to be the future not the past!"

"I care Santana okay I care and I'll tell you why because you are my first well pretty much everything. Damn it I'm experiencing everything to do with this dating this with you and your not just my soul mate or life partner or girlfriend or whatever you are all those thighs plus my first love okay. God I should've known you would take this as a chance to break my heart, karma right Santana that's what this is karma for you!"

"Yeah guess what Dani I guess it is karma your first love always breaks your heart so here's your first heartbreak enjoy!" Santana yells at me.

After she yells this there's just silence, pure silence. I watch as Santana realises what she's said and her face drops with the understanding of what she's actually done. She goes to say something probably something about taking it all back but I stop her feeling my heart shattered in my chest.

"I'm going for a walk Santana and by the time I get back I don't want to remember that you were ever here or part of my life." As I say this I turn my back and head towards the door wiling the tears that are beginning to fall and the sobs beginning to rack my body to hold out until I leave.

**A/N well that's not horrible, depressing and heart-breaking at all lol however I can promise that there is always hope though especially for Dantana! Thanks for reading as always please fave follow and review! Until next time xx**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N First of all yay for weekly updates! I had to say that sorry anyway hey guys I've had this chapter done for a while actually got inspired by someone who suggested Santana getting jealous and yeah this chapter is pretty much that along with some pretty heavy feels I think I don't know lol. It's also my longest chapter yet excluding this note and the one at the bottom this is over 2k which I honestly can't believe! Thank you guys so much for favouriting, following and reviewing this is all literally for you guys because I was thinking of you when I was writing and being inspired and stuff. Anyway on with the chapter, I hope you enjoy it even half as much as I enjoyed writing it! xx**

**WARNING SELF HARM AND DEPRESSION REFERENCE! **

POV Santana

It's been a torturous few months being away from Dani. I took off a week from work at the diner and since being back I've been able to avoid graveyard shift which is still just so special to me. I can't bear the thought of seeing the sunrise and then remembering that song or that first kiss. However I am now back at work and back to dealing with sharing shifts with Dani. Each shift we share all I do is literally just stare at her, watching how she interacts with the customers and how she swiftly plays the lesbian card on any guy who flirts with her. It's torture because I still remember when that would happen to one of us and we would rescue each other by giving the other a kiss or from me a kiss along with a very Lima Heights glare in the direction of the flirter.

The shift I'm working now is always the worst because it's Wednesday night so no one's out doing anything, there's just a lot of standing around and it's not like I can talk to Dani since we broke up and we also haven't spoken since that night. That's what I miss the most behind her complete love, our conversations which were both deep discussing our separate past and our shared future but also just light and fun conversations about whatever. As great as it is to have sex with people and make out, love will always trump that and I can't believe I screwed it up and gave up on love altogether.

I'm just standing around right now as there are only two people in this whole diner, leaving me with pretty much nothing to do. Dani and I are standing on opposite sides of the room giving each other glances every so often but each time our eyes meet or we are caught staring by the other our eyes shoot away and we take up a rigid pose directed away from the other.

There's a heavy silence and almost no movement in the diner until a girl comes in by herself and takes a seat in Dani's section I can't help but watch as Dani walks over offering a menu with a smile, a smile I haven't seen for too long and for even longer directed at me. That's another thing I miss, the Santana smile as Rachel called it, the smile Dani had whenever she was with me or even when she was talking about me according to Berry. I loved Dani's smile just like the rest of her and I loved how I felt all warm and fuzzy when seeing it especially when it was directed at me and combined with those beautiful brown eyes of her always filled with love for me which I stupidly stuffed up.

I look away as Dani walks toward me to place the order of the girl and I begin to walk over to the salt shakers just getting away from her, hating myself in the process though as the memories come flooding back. I'm standing up remembering the first conversation with the person I am sure is the love of my life. Its times like this that I wonder whether Dani remembers anything at all because I still carry around every interaction we ever had and the feelings associated with that today. Kurt won't tell me anything about what Dani says at band rehearsal and I don't go to the shows because it's too painful to hear that voice and know that I will never wake up to that sound again or hear it just for me.

If I'm being honest this break up just doesn't seem to have affected Dani at all and she seems to have forgotten all about everything that happened. I guess when she said she wanted to forget that I was ever in her life she really did mean it. The fact that she has forgot though hurts almost as much as the fact that we aren't together, the fact that she's forgotten those few months where I felt like I had it all and my life was complete as long as that girl was in it, hurts a heck of a lot. I know I hurt her scratch that broke her heart but I still want some recognition for what we had.

I shake myself out of all these thoughts as the final salt shakers are filled up and I look over to where the girl has now finished her meal and Dani is delivering the bill. What surprise me though is the girls flirtatious attitude and the way she's smiling at Dani whose expression I can't see because her back is turned to me. I'm properly shaken though when the girl hands over the bill and touches Dani's hand and give her a piece of paper presumably with her number written on it. It's from that moment onwards that all I see is red.

POV Change Dani

Since the break up I've gone back to being lost, confused and depressed without Santana. Everyday has become a routine, wake up, eat, work, band practise, work, eat and then sleep repeated over and over again. Her insults still cut me raw and when I'm awake late at night alone in the apartment wearing Santana's McKinley sweatshirt (which I don't think she knows I still have) I smell her on the shirt and almost feel the love we had but then I hear her voice inside my head telling me how first loves break your heart and in that moment I feel my heart break and shatter again, just through her voice in my head. The power Santana has over me still hasn't left it continues to hold me this is probably why I haven't really faced the voices and my demons because of her. My razor remains clean; I just have nightmares, insomnia and have become more anxious. Being with Santana even if it was for that short time it made me forget all this and all I felt was loved, love that I honestly thought was true and eternal. We had talked about a future together yet the past or more appropriately Santana's past couldn't let us move on.

I still don't know who to blame for all this, me for not seeing the signs, Brittany for turning up, or Santana for being unable to say she loved me when she said she did so often. In the end I just blame everyone and everything including myself, not making myself unhappier and further depressed but also not making me happier.

Since the breakup I've just thrown myself into life. I haven't forgotten what's happened, how I was happier than I've ever been and happier than I think I'll ever be again for those short few months however I've hidden it from Santana I can't have her seeing just how much she's ripped me raw. At band practise I tell Kurt a bit of this but it's Rachel who knows what I'm going though. She's been meeting up with me for coffee a few times a week just to talk sometimes about Santana and other times just about life and general stuff. Santana doesn't know of these meetings and I don't want her too because I know that if it comes down to it Rachel will probably tell Santana about what we discuss, not because she wants to break my trust but because she wants me to be happy and she knows just like me that Santana is truly the one person who makes me happy and was going to for the rest of my life.

Today I'm working another shift with Santana and so far it's just been awkward. It's Wednesday night so no one's around and all Santana and I do is stare at each other awkwardly, acting as if we don't know what the other one is doing. The first person to sit in my section is a girl and she gives me a huge smile as I walk over to give her the menu and take her order. She orders something; I'm honestly not really paying attention to her at all as I can feel Santana's eyes on my every move. I do notice the girls flirting though but honestly think nothing of it, I know there's only one person I'm interested in and she broke my heart.

I wait for the order to be cooked and watch Santana fill the salt shakers smiling weakly as I remember how in our first conversation I got to see her softer side and just from that moment I knew I had to get to know the Latina. The order comes through and I walk it back to the table, once again just ignoring the girl who is now obviously flirting with me and all I hope is that Santana doesn't see any of this because I know how jealous she gets.

The girl finishes her meal fairly quickly and when I go over to clear the table she tells me her name and asks if I would want to go out sometime. As I walk away with the dishes, I mull over what response to give, unsure of how to answer the question however by the time I'm back it's clear the girl doesn't care what my answer is basically, she's simply not taking no for an answer. As I hand her the bill she slips me her number on a napkin written in the bright pink lipstick she's wearing and I awkwardly stand there for a moment cursing myself for still being hopelessly in love with Santana. I never have to give a response though as a fuming Santana comes over and starts to talk (more like yell) at the girl.

"Okay hell no this is my freaking girlfriend, she doesn't want your number so you can take it back and be on your way before I go all Lima Heights on your ass, got it?" Santana says fixing her bitch stare on the girl.

We all just stand there for a few seconds before I figure we all need to get away from this situation and I say the first thing I've said in months to Santana.

"Santana please come with me" I say before apologising to the girl as I drag Santana into the break room.

"Okay so what the fuck Santana? You fucking can't say you love me and we break up and don't speak for months and then start you a fight with a girl because she gave me her number. You can't do that you have NO right to at all. You chose out of my life that night when you didn't love me and basically no actually you did say straight to my face that you were going to break my heart from the start, so you have no say in what I do okay no say at all, got it?" By the end of this I'm breathing heavy and am just staring at Santana willing her to say something not just run away. The awkward silence is clearly too much for Santana as she begins to yell at me.

"Damn it Dani, I know I got kicked out of your life months ago okay and it still hurts like shit. I'll tell you why, because guess what, news flash, I loved you and I still love you and I will always love you. I couldn't admit I was in love with you to Brittany because guess what, it would make everything in my head real. Whenever I was around you or even just thinking of you all I could picture was our future together with kids and awesome successful careers and that fucking scared me I couldn't deal with it so I figured that if I didn't admit the truth that meant it wasn't real. I know it was real though, fuck all the pain I've gone through everyday proves that Dani. What adds to the pain of me fucking up though is the fact you've forgotten about us. Add that to the pain of the fact that I don't get to love you and be loved by you for the rest of our lives and I'm dying here Dani."

"I haven't forgotten at all! That's what you don't get Santana! I can't forget, I can't stop thinking about the million I love you's and the one you didn't say or the mornings where we'd lie in bed talking and or we'd make love or when we moved in together or our first duet or our first kiss, I can't forget anything! I can't forget about us anymore than you but I hide it because I will break down if I actually let myself remember love and what it felt like to have your love and love you back." As I say this I see Santana picking up her stuff and it's clear that her running tendency has kicked in as she begins to jog away from the diner but not before turning around and saying:

"I'm sorry Dani."

**As always please fave, follow and review! Love you guys so much xx talk to you soon!**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N yes I suck yes this is late blah blah blah basically it was the last week of school and I had three projects due, actually completed 16 pages for drama in one night got so much sleep then lol but now it's the holidays so hopefully some relaxation with work and studying thrown in yay lol. Anyway enjoy this chapter haven't decided how I feel about it yet oh well it's a chapter. Shout out to BrittzandTana who's birthday it is today yay go wish her a happy birthday on fan fiction or Twitter she is amazingly talented and super awesome so read her fan fictions too you will be blown away with her talent. So after all that on with the story!**

**POV Santana**

After that fight in the diner Dani and I stopped sharing shifts probably due to her hatred of me, I did put her through hell after all what the hell is wrong with me, your first love always breaks your heart like what the hell brain, listen to my heart before saying stuff next time! Having not even seen her in two months you can see why I was surprised when I arrive back to the loft after a long shift and when I open my open to see a email from Dani's email addresses. It's just sitting there among the general junk mail of my inbox no subject or anything so I have no idea what to expect. I've got to admit that I was tempted to delete it but I figure it could be important and if Dani is reaching out, maybe forgiving me or at least just forgetting it all so we can go back to just being normal workmates or something (it also doesn't help my cause that my heart sorta swells at just the idea of Dani contacting me.)

I open the email hesitating for no reason it's not like she will ever know or something is going to pop out or something I guess I'm just nervous to hear from her. As I begin to read the email I hear her voice in my head reading it out to me so soft and sweet.

_"Dear Santana" it reads "I didn't know if I would contact you at all about this but I feel like I sorta owe it to you I don't know I mean you did pay for half of this after all. Anyway attached to this email is all the information about that cruise we talk about and booked when we were together. I really don't care about what you do in regards to this all I know and care to know is that I'm going I need a break and I already paid for it so it's happening. Basically what you do is your business. From Dani"_

It takes me a few days to just mull it all over that short email and the cruise information flooding my head with thoughts, I mean it looks amazing, just as amazing as it did when it was booked I mean food and drink is included there's like three pools and a slide which Dani got so excited about she always was a little kid at heart no matter her terrible childhood and her rushed growing up, there's also a two day stop in Hawaii which looks so beautiful. The thing holding me back is the whole Dani aspect I mean she has said that she doesn't care and the ship does look big enough to avoid each other for most of the time after all and the wonder twins have been surprisingly good about the whole break up situation although I am about over their Broadway sorrow songs, not having a girlfriend literally means I am stuck in the apartment all the time aside from work and class so I've been suffering through each karaoke movie night and the stupid daily routines for way too long a break from gay berry and porcelain would be very nice.

My mind is made up though when Gunther offers me two weeks off when the cruise is if I work the holidays this year which is fine with me as there is no way in hell I am going back to Lima Ohio anytime in the near future possibly never again so I agreed. I don't know who told Dani of my cruise attendance before I had a chance too as when I email her out of courteously she just sends back a simple "I know" which confuses me to no end as Kurt says Dani refuse to discuss anything relating to me at band rehearsals it was probably Rachel on one of her coffee meetings with Dani who spilled the beans she did seem weird when I announced my desire to go on the cruise and has been acting bizarre since then but I thought it was just playing Funny Lady of whatever had turned her well funny. It doesn't really matter though because Dani knows I'm going and I'm getting away so what the heck?

Before I know it the cruise is upon me, I literally had no time to do any tipping until the night before thanks to Gunther's whip cracking, forcing me to take so many bloody shifts before my holidays continually claiming that he was doing me a favour giving me the time off which is completely untrue, honestly if I didn't need this job I would've gone Lima Heights on his ass so many times by now.

I am sorta incredibly excited for today even with the lovely early morning departure time but leaving the wonder twins at this time did mean that I didn't get some heartfelt goodbye sing along chorus number or a rant from Berry about not to do this or do that or whatever thanks to the stick up her ass instead I am safely here on the boat which looks even more incredible in real life. I promptly check in being told that my partner has already arrived which shocks me for a second before I remember that Dani and I booked the romance package thing hopefully it isn't too painful for her I honestly can't wait to be around her again even if she is forced into it, whoa that sounds super creepy and almost fifty shades of grey or something but I mean I like her energy and her vibe and I'll take what I can get when it comes to having any connection with D.

After telling the weird porter dude that I was strictly lesbian i hurriedly walk away dragging my suitcase behind me just hoping to get away from the creep. I make my way to the cabin holding onto the rail at every single flight of stairs, heels and small stairs don't work especially when they are combined with a rocking ship, I don't know how I'm gonna survive on this ship without my heels they are pretty much the only type of shoes I brought aside from a pair of flips flops for around the pool oh well I'm on a cruise I can think about that later right now I'm approaching the cabin where I'm staying with the love of my life. As I locate the cabin I'm surprised to see the door slightly open as I was certain that Dani would be off somewhere avoiding me at all costs. I shrug off this thought and enter the cabin to see her back turned to me putting something away. Not wanting to frighten her I squeak the wheels of the bag before speaking.

"Hi" I say softly unsure of what reaction I'm going to get but offering a smile to hopefully calm her down. I'm shocked when she turns around and instead of glaring or dismissing me she offers me a smile back. It's with that gorgeous smile that I feel my heart pick up its pieces and start to sort them back together already filled with the hope that I can win her back somehow.

**As always fave follow and review it makes me day and makes writing easier knowing someone's reading what I'm writing and their opinion and stuff. Until next time xx**


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